doandordie | IC Inbox

[He makes a grunting sound in affirmation; when he has something more to share, he'll be sure to pass it along. It wouldn't be hard to do; tenuous or not, Cassian is something of a friend and Bodhi would want to share something good finally happening.]

What would there be to go back to?

[It's a bit pessimistic, but...]

Depends upon what you intend to do once I tell you.

Nothing more than I did the last time you told me someone's name.

[He's referring to Caleb, not Galen, but he assumes Bodhi will figure that out. The fact that he planned to make sure the other man wasn't a threat to Bodhi's safety and potentially threaten him was left out.

But Bodhi wasn't the only one who didn't see a reason or a point to going back.]

You can always make a new life for yourself here or somewhere else. Your future is in your hands, Bodhi. No one else's.

[He considers it for a moment, and then finally:]

Ren.

[There's some shifting in his seat.] I don't know. I don't know. I'll think about it. There's nothing left for me anymore.

[Jedha is gone, along with his family and most people he knew.]

Maybe not there, but there will be for others thanks to you.

[It's the first time, really, that Cassian has talked about their mission or Scarif since arriving in Eudio beyond figuring out when the other fragments of the crew had arrived and what the state of things had been. He still wasn't sure he believed they had succeeded, but he would never hesitate to assure the others that they had, and that the Rebellion would be able to make use of the plans they had all sacrificed their lives for.

He lowers his hand to rest on Bodhi's upper back, a firm press meant to remind the man he was there.]

You are a talented pilot and mechanic, Bodhi. No matter how impossible starting over may feel, it is still possible.

[For Bodhi who had redeemed himself, who had been through so much and fought to keep his sanity. Who had still fought to make things right even after the rebellion had fractured his mind, imprisoned and tortured him. Cassian was a war criminal. Bodhi? He was a hero.]

[He looks back at Cassian with wide-eyes. He can be told this so many times, but it still means a lot. Because it's somewhat hard to believe. He doesn't know anything for certain, he wants to believe--

But it's not always easy.

But Cassian seems to believe in him, in what they did, their success--

He needs him to. Makes it easier to believe as well.]

You're right.

[Maybe. He's not entirely sure, but he doesn't want to express his doubt.] I'll figure it out.

If you find it's something you need help with, or you ever need to talk through it, I am here.

[Though as he says it Cassian lets his arm drop, getting to his feet.]

It's late. I've had a long week. I'm sure you're tired, too.

[It sounds like the start to a dismissal, like he's asking Bodhi to leave, but he moves to the door as well, a gesture with a tilt of his head suggesting Bodhi follow.]

Tonight is as good a night as any to see whether or not this is something that will work for you.

[He might have been reluctant to mention it earlier--but he can't deny he's exhausted. Has been for a long time--he had thought that he would be able to sleep easily now that he was here, but it wasn't always the case.

There were too many nightmares that plagued him, that woke him up in a panic and cold sweat, sometimes with screams.

He's not sure if having someone with him will help--maybe it will, maybe it won't. But the attempt is worth it, if only for the prospect of furthering his incentive. Would he be kicked out if he didn't? Even if he knows he's just seconds away from his death back on Scarif. (That was assuming he wasn't actually dead; Bodhi wasn't always convinced that this wasn't some iteration of an afterlife.)]

Alright, yeah.

[He wanders off to the bathroom to brush his teeth, change into pajamas, and once done with that climbs into bed, taking the edge closer to the wall, buried under blankets.]

[Cassian gave Bodhi a few minutes to get ready before he followed into the other man's room to find him already under the covers and tucked up by the wall. After months of sleeping on boxsprings, he wasn't sure how well he would sleep on the too soft surface of the mattress, but he was willing to give both it and this a try.

There was a chance none of this would help either of them, but Cassian couldn't allow Bodhi to be sent home, and he had been far less successful in his own efforts than he had anticipated at the start.

He pushed the covers back, sliding in behind Bodhi and moving close until his chest was against the pilot's back, an arm slipped around him loosely, just a constant pressure against Bodhi's side.]

At any point you need me to leave, just tell me. [No feelings needed to be spared. He wanted to help Bodhi, and if this didn't do that, there would be no point to it.]

[It's a strange feeling, having someone close like this. But he trusts Cassian, and he's warm and solid against him. It's oddly comforting.]

I'll let you know.

[The words are muffled from his blanket, but as the night progresses he doesn't have to tell Cassian to leave: he quickly falls into a deep sleep, for once not plagued by the awful nightmares.]

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and then I lost my tag somehow and lazarus was disabled. thanks dw/chrome

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