doandordie | IC Inbox

[In the couple days following, things have continued as normal. It's a good thing; Bodhi doesn't feel awkward around Cassian, or nervous, not more than he tends to be in general. Despite that, he feels the need to address what happened. His inhibitions might've been lowered, he might've felt braver at the time--but he hasn't forgotten.

If anything, it's something that's lingered with him.

It's early in the evening when Bodhi emerges from his tinkering, and when he sees Cassian in the living room en route to the kitchen for a glass of juice. Once he has it, he joins Cassian on the couch, sitting at a normal, comfortable distance from him.

For several minutes, he's quiet, listening to the news while sipping his drink. When a commercial break comes, he glances over--] How are you?

[Cassian looks up only briefly from his phone when Bodhi sits down, listening to the news while browsing the network. He had not mentioned what had happened since the night they had worked on the droid, but it was more out of respect for Bodhi than anything else. He wasn't sure how the man felt about how events had gone, and was assuming it would just be left unspoken about after the first couple of days.

When Bodhi speaks, Cassian glances over and leans back into the couch, one of his smaller, more genuine smiles greeting the question.]

Well enough. [He could leave it at that, but he was trying to engage more in casual conversation. Try his hand at actually bridging connections.] I have some reports I need to work on over the weekend.

And you?

I'm well, too.

[He's felt better over the past couple days than he has in a long time. He almost feels...well, normal. More relaxed, less tense. His head even feels a little more clear than it has in a while. Ultimately, it's refreshing.

Cassian's assistance is likely a contributing factor, he realized this earlier, but didn't know how to broach the subject. If he should at all. And yet, he finds himself bringing it up without the encouragement from anything but himself.]

About the other night. [He licks his lips idly, chewing on the bottom one as he turns his gaze back to the television.] It wasn't an imposition on you, was it? [He knows Cassian was doing him a favor but he wouldn't want that to be the only reason, not with something like that.]

We both need to work on our incentives, Bodhi. There's no reason we shouldn't help one another, if we're comfortable doing so.

[It shouldn't surprise him that Bodhi might have worried Cassian had been put on by his request. He thought perhaps, the fact that he had followed through without needing to be directly asked would have been evidence enough, but he could see where Bodhi's mind might come to a different conclusion, or even just a minor worry.]

But no, it was not an imposition. [Normally he would leave it at that, but Bodhi seemed to often have issues with his confidence, and after a pause, Cassian decided to put his worries to bed without leaving room for doubt.]

I enjoyed it and I would do it again.

[Cassian's response puts Bodhi at ease; ultimately he supposes it doesn't matter why Cassian didn't mind helping him, he appreciated it all the same and he's honestly quite relieved that Cassian enjoyed himself. Of course, Bodhi had felt the proof of that--but his thought processes while sober are vastly different in comparison to when he's in a state where he's not second-guessing himself.]

You would?

[He can feel his cheeks burn, and he bites the inside of his cheek to hide the small smile that's threatening to emerge.] I'd like that.

I'm not--- I mean, I haven't--

[He's struggling to find the way to express what he needs to say. Unfortunately, this is one of those things that's easier to say bluntly through the written word rather than spoken.] You know.

But I want to.

[He had guessed as much, but Bodhi's responsiveness could just have been a natural side effect of time gone without, or his own natural inclination to react more strongly. The confirmation is good to have, helps him better understand what he's working with and what to expect in the future if they do decide to help one another again.

And it's seeming like that is very likely. ]

That's not something you need to be embarrassed about. I can help you. [Bodhi might be indirect at times, but he isn't difficult for Cassian to understand, even when he loses some of his words along the way. He just needed reassurance, a bolster to his confidence. It was something Cassian had seen in fresh pilots, too, the ones who grew jittery in the days before their first flights.]

It would be good for both of us. [Both in fulfilling their incentives and in the sense of helping distract them and relieve tension and stress. He would make sure of it.]

[He brings one of his legs up, tucking one of his knees against his chest, leaving the other leg dangling off of the couch while he tangles his fingers in his own hair.

The conversation is still a difficult one, but it's going well enough that he doesn't feel too mortified, even if he can feel his heart racing.]

Good--'cause. If we ever did anything again-- [He already knows he wants to, just the quick encounter had awoken something that he's tucked away for a long time, and now he's had a taste of what he's been missing out on.] --I'd want to be able to help you too. If you wanted.

If you're comfortable with that. Just know that it's not required.

[He wouldn't protest it. He had not had the greatest of luck in his attempted encounters. A few hook ups, each of which had been their own- experience, but familiarity was something he had never really allowed himself, not in quite a few years.

He knew how much better things could be when there was an understanding of how the other person responded and what they liked. Not having to start over with every person was a benefit, but it came at the risk of emotional attachment or expectations.

A risk he wasn't as concerned about with the people he already suffered those attachments toward. He places a hand on Bodhi's shoulder, the contact meant to further reassure him.]

We can take things as they go. If you find yourself comfortable doing more, we'll do more.

[He nods, appreciating the hand on his shoulder, but not seeking out more contact than that. Bodhi might be asking for quite a bit--at least in time, investment, and working on incentives--but he wasn't that needy. Or, that was what he liked to think, anyway.]

Okay. Thank you. [He pauses.] I'd like you to be able to count on me, too, when you need it. [Cassian is pillar in the household after all, but Bodhi knows that sometimes relying on others is necessary too.]

[It was a quality Cassian appreciated. Bodhi was independent, even when there was something he needed. At times it was a source of frustration, but only because of Cassian's desire to protect him from threats.

He respected that need to stand on his own two feet, and getting Bodhi comfortable enough with him to be willing to ask him for help now and then was an improvement and evidence of how far they had come from defected imperial pilot and distrusting alliance captain.]

That's how a crew should feel, as though they can rely on each other when they need to. [Not for everything. Just enough that when they needed something, they knew someone would be there watching their back or covering them. There's a moments pause before he adds on to that for clarity's sake, a sincerity to his voice that causes his words to come out soft and almost somber with the serious nature of it.]

Thank you, Bodhi.

Edited 2017-05-11 20:15 (UTC)

[He offers Cassian a smile, but doesn't say much after that. After a while, he retreats back into his room with his juice. For the next few hours, he's content to sit on his bed, leaning against the wall and watch videos on a tablet, bedroom door open.

When Cassian comes into the room, Bodhi doesn't look up immediately, opting to wait until the current video ends before acknowledging him.]

I think I'll end up being awake longer, if you have other things to do.

[Cassian had changed into a comfortable pair of pants and a t-shirt before making his way to Bodhi's room. He took a seat beside Bodhi on the bed, making himself comfortable by leaning his back into the headboard.

He gave a curious glance to the video on Bodhi's tablet but he didn't mind killing some time in his company. Then it occurs to him Bodhi might actually not be ready for him to be there.]

Do you mind?

[If he did, Cassian could leave.]

I don't mind. You can stay.

[He shifts some, scooting closer so Cassian can get a look at the video he's watching. He has a feeling it's not the most informative video about Earth animals, but he's down the rabbit hole.]

I think I am even more confused than I was before.

[Just overhearing it is amusing, whether inaccurate or otherwise. Cassian leans into him, watching along with him with his head tilted to one side. The man narrating had an interesting way with words and tone.]

I think it may be a bit of a satire. [He couldn't be certain though, and he moved his arm behind Bodhi's head to make the position a bit more comfortable.]

Where did you find these?

[Bodhi glances over his shoulder at Cassian's arm, and after a moment leans into him a bit, focus returned to the tablet.]

That would explain the laughing. [One day he'll have to find a serious documentary.] I was looking for videos about Earth-thunes.

[He doesn't mention he forgot their real names already.]

Elephants [Cassian's correction is amused and relaxed. He only knew what they were because he had looked them up after certain conversations and seeing the stuffed animal on Bodhi's bed.

They were apparently fairly massive creatures.]

They're herd animals and some people ride on their backs. [He would remember to forward the video to Bodhi later.]

Not quite as soft or easy to embrace as that one. [Gesturing to Ground the one-trunked thune.]

Edited 2017-05-12 00:54 (UTC)

Elephants. [He repeats the word. It was one he knew, but forgot, so he appreciates the reminder.] It makes sense that they'd be so big, since real thunes are.

[Bodhi prefers the smaller, plushier version.]

One day it would be interesting to see one. [Said as he's subconsciously leaning into Cassian a little more.]

They might have them at the zoo.

[He offers, curling his arm more firmly around Bodhi. He didn't mind reminding him of things. He would do so until Bodhi didn't need the help any more. It didn't cost him anything to do so.

Still, he has to admit that the stuffed elephant was the better version. From what he had seen, elephants did not look soft in any fashion. They looked rough and wrinkled and almost sad. The males had deadly looking tusks, as well. But they appeared to be powerful creatures, and he had a feeling Bodhi would still like them, in different way.]

Maybe we can find out one day.

[It would be something fun to do, and even if there's not elephants, there'd be plenty more to see. But in the meantime, he manages to find two other videos to watch--they're easier to find, between autocorrect and knowing the proper name for them now,]

I like them. [He shifts some as one of the videos play, in effort to hold the tablet in a manner that makes it easier for Cassian to see easily too.]

They seem a very trusting species.

[With Bodhi's shift, Cassian's had ends up in his hair, undoing the tie holding it up while he's distracted and running his fingers through the loose hair to set it free of the tight hold he usually kept it in.

He was idly carding his fingers through the strands while they watched the videos.]

[He looks up when Cassian removes the hair tie, but he doesn't protest or make a big deal out of it. It feels strange to have someone playing with his hair, but it's one that's actually quite comfortable.

Bodhi is quiet for the duration of the videos, but when they end he hums.]

What should we watch now?

[It's surprising, in a way, the things Bodhi lets him get away with at times. Cassian's hands slip out of the other man's hair to the back of his neck after the question, and he watches him a moment, considering the question and what to suggest.

He comes out of it with nothing to offer, though, and leans in, instead, using a light grip on Bodhi's hair at the base of his skull to tilt his head back. The previous time they had done anything, Bodhi had been under the influence of some tension and inhibition lowering substances. Now he was presumably of his usual mind set.

It left Cassian pondering whether or not he would still want the attention, or if he would be too nervous about it to respond as he had before. It had been Bodhi who had initiated the kiss the first time, so this time, Cassian is the one to press his lips to Bodhi's.]

[There's a small surprised sound coming from Bodhi; it's naivete perhaps, that despite the fact that this should have been an obvious move before it happened, he hadn't expected it.

He's a little tentative, feeling his nervousness and uncertainty a lot more than he did last time. Despite this, he responds to the kiss, shifting some but not yet knowing what to do with his hands.]

[Cassian's fingers curl in Bodhi's hair when he makes a sound. He had not been sure Bodhi would respond, initially. There had been a slight worry that the attention would be unwanted, but it passed quickly. Cassianhad avoided kissing for so long, and now that it's been added back to his interactions, it was a problem.

He tries to coax Bodhi's lips to part, delving deeper into the kiss. The light scratch of fingers against scalp and the brush of his tongue intended to take Bodhi's mind away from his nerves again. It might take more work without the help of alcohol, but he was confident in his ability to do so.]

[Bodhi is a little slower to the uptake, but he's not any less interested in this than he was last time they kissed. This time is slightly different apart from the lack of liquid courage--mainly that Cassian initiated. Bodhi isn't sure why it comes as such a surprise to him, but it does, despite the fact that they've discussed this, and knowing it benefits both of them.

He shifts some so he can face Cassian fully, lips parting. He finally rests his hands on Cassian's shoulders, letting him take the lead.]

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